Silver Lining Part Two:
As any faithful readers may remember, Silver Linings part one was about how my wife, Elizabeth’s, recent illness and tons of days in the hospital brought some unexpected blessings. (She is fine and healthy now) I will recount here how another blessing occurred during that time.
I feel that I spend a good amount of time with my children. I now have three, Ethan, Daniel and Benjamin. When my wife got sick she was carrying Ben. There were many times when Ethan and Daniel did not really understand or relate to what was going on. They just knew that there were many nights when their mom was not at home. They knew that there were many days when mom was too sick to play with them. They were very used to having her at home, as she has been working from home ever since Daniel was born, three years before.
Ethan, now 8, remembers when Elizabeth got sick carrying Daniel. But she did not spend days at a time in the hospital. This illness in 2006 was much different. There were times when she could not get out of bed. She had IV’s at home. Tubes coming out of her arm and a machine attached to a pole to give her fluids and medication, because she could not take anything orally. At one point she was at home with a feeding tube coming out of her nose, and could only sleep in a particular chair at a special angle.
We were very blessed to have Jeanie as our friend. “Nanny P” as she came to be called came every day for weeks to our house. If it were not for her, I would have had to take an unpaid leave of absence from my job.
The blessing came with the extra time that I got to spend with my children. Daniel was 2 at the time and Ethan was 7. Many nights when Elizabeth was in the hospital, we all three would sleep in our big bed. We would sit and talk about the day. They would ask questions about Mommy, most of which I could not answer. I just tried to assure them that she would be OK. Ethan was praying for her. I give great thanks for the Community Fellowship Church of the Nazarene for so many things. The idea that Ethan, at 7 years old, would pray on his own is a gift beyond measure.
I spent time feeding them, clothing them, cleaning them, helping with homework, and playing with them. It is an opportunity that most Fathers will never get. (I know many Fathers help with that stuff, but doing it every day for weeks is different.) I would never have done it if I were not forced to. I know my children better now than I ever would have if Elizabeth had not gotten sick. They know me better now. Now and in the future when I have the opportunity to spend some time with my boys, I will be much more likely to take it, and be appreciative of it because of what our family went though in the summer of 2006.
Just last night, both Ethan and Daniel wanted me to come into their room and play a game that Nanny P had bought them called Hungry Hungry Hippo’s! I came home and needed to do some things, change Benjamin’s diaper, check my mail, talk about dinner, and all of the other stuff that steals family time. Ethan was in their room and set it all up. Daniel kept coming into the room and asking me to come play the game. He must have come and grabbed my hand 5 times before I went back to play. I thank God that my relationship with my children is good enough that they would continue to ask, with faith that I would come play with them. I thank God that I am not so ignorant to the absolute joy that can come from all of us when we spend a few minutes together. We played the game for a total of 15 or 20 minutes. At one point Elizabeth brought Benjamin to me so that he (at 4 months old) could see what was going on.
Although it was a short amount of time, I sat there with Benjamin on my lap, Ethan across from me managing the game, and Daniel laughing as the little balls jumped up in the air as we madly smashed on our little hippo’s to try to get the most balls. Ethan won most of the games. He was also very good and had us take the game apart and put it away when we were done.
So, my wife Elizabeth was sick for several months. My relationship with my children has been changed forever for the better. Now that is a silver lining that I would never have expected, and did not realize was happening at the time.
Silver Linings 3 coming soon!
